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Шуточные звездные рекомендации для женщин по выбору напитков. Для всех знаков Зодиака.
Звезды нынче нарядились,
И помчались все в ларёк,
По дороге заблудились
Сочинили гороскоп.
Чтоб 8 Марта дамы
Не скучали, не грустили.
В общем, говорим вам прямо:
Мы о трезвости забыли.
И для дам по зодиаку
Мы напитки предлагаем,
Козерогам, Девам, Ракам
По пять капель наливаем.
Овен
Овны вышли на охоту,
Пусть сегодня не суббота,
Нужно срочно оторваться
И куда-нибудь сорваться.
В бар с подружкой зарулить,
Замутить и потусить.
Алкогольные напитки
Вам подмигивают дружно,
Ну и выбор, это ж пытка,
Вам монетку бросить нужно.
Заказать себе текилы,
Вискарём её запить,
А о том, что после было…
Лучше навсегда забыть.
Телец
Среди дам Тельцов сегодня спор:
Что лучше: водка, или вишневый ликёр?
Да вы не парьтесь, напитки смешайте,
И до утра вы потом зажигайте.
Джин закажите пару бокалов,
Пива добавьте, если вам мало.
Танго станцуйте на стойке, на барной,
В общем, расслабитесь, девушки, славно!
Близнецы
Дамы Близнецы в порядке
Есть вино, и шоколадка,
И подружки рядом есть,
Только некуда присесть.
В бар не тянет, дома скука,
А на улице дубак,
Дайте звездам свою руку,
Погадаем…так-так-так,
Ждёт вас новенький поклонник,
С хатой, сауной, бассейном,
Настоящий он полковник,
Парень он прямолинейный.
Наливает сразу браги,
На десерт мартини льёт,
Набирайтесь вы отваги.
8 Марта – дело прёт.
Рак
Есть вариант: накатить самогона,
Только не сможете выйти из дома,
Лучше немножечко вам потерпеть,
Всех обзвонить, сериал посмотреть.
Ну а в обед вы сорвитесь к подружке
И по дороге купите две кружки
Литровые надо, о мере забудьте,
И в женский праздник смелее вы будьте.
Из шкафа достаньте коньячный флакон
И разрядите скорей телефон.
Чтобы не смог муж родной дозвониться,
И не мешал от души веселиться.
Песенки пойте, достаньте соседей,
Может, и мы вечерком к вам подъедем.
Лев
Платье длинное обрежьте
До колена, или выше,
И как следует поешьте,
И свалите вы потише…
У подъезда уж девчата
Есть бутылочка ликёра,
В этот день 8 Марта,
Веселитесь до упора.
Коль не хватит, закажите
Вы с доставкою коньяк,
На балконе попляшите –
Чтобы знали все, вот так.
Дева
Портвейн стоит, и водка в морозилке,
И пиво есть, но на душе тоска,
Селёдки нацепите вы на вилку,
И осознайте: праздник! И пора
Вам нарядиться, и подкрасить глазки,
И намахнуть для храбрости винца,
Потом придет король, и принц из сказки,
Веселье аж до самого утра.
Но запаситесь, Девы, вы кефиром,
И активированный уголь вы купите…
А что идёте малость, Девы, криво,
Так это от усталости, поспите.
Весы
Вкусные конфеты,
Новые носочки,
В вашу честь сонеты,
Песни и цветочки.
Не хватает пива?
Мужа усыпите,
Смойтесь вы красиво,
Деньги захватите.
Рыба, белый соус,
И креветки ждут,
Запивать винищем!
Звезды не соврут.
Туфли скинуть можно,
Если очень жмут,
Только осторожно,
Вдруг ещё сопрут?!
Скорпион
Кудри, шарфик на плечах,
Скорпионы – ох и ах!
Вы намылились на бал?!
Гороскоп вам так сказал:
Пейте всё, но только в меру,
Сидр, и белое вино
Плещется у вас в фужерах,
Ну-ка, выгляньте в окно
Белка там на ветках скачет,
И чего-то вам маячит.
А хотя…8 Марта
Можно обо всём забыть!
Не теряйте вы азарта,
Разрешают звёзды пить!
И подгонят вам бочонок
С ромом вкусным – ну, дела,
Созывайте всех девчонок –
Веселимся до утра!
Стрелец
Ногти в стразах, в блёстках веки,
Шпильки, модное пальтишко,
Выбрались, в кои-то веки,
Ошалели все мальчишки.
И Стрельцы идут, качаясь,
Но походка от бедра,
Где ж вы так наотмечались?!
Вы ж не пили никогда…
От глинтвейна закружилась
Иль от водки голова?!
Пиво в сумочке пролИлось,
И немножечко вина.
Себе кофе заварите,
И очнитесь от дурмана,
И в такси скорей звоните…
Дома ждут вас у дивана.
Козерог
То ли водка с соком вишни,
То ли коньяка глоток,
Был, наверно, для вас лишним,
В общем, дама Козерог
Чувствует себя не очень,
Ноги ватные совсем,
Нужно срочно, прямо срочно,
Позвонить подругам всем.
Пусть доставят литр пива,
И рассола с огурцами,
Вы учитесь пить красиво,
А вообще, решайте сами.
Рядом муж, и он подхватит,
Если вдруг вас заштормит…
Праздник женский…может, хватит?!
А то головка заболит.
Водолей
В руках букетик из тюльпанов,
Сережки милые в ушах,
8 Марта вы в нирвану,
Отправитесь на каблуках.
Бургундских вин известно много,
Но выбрать надобно одно,
И Водолеи все в тревоге,
Какое ж взять себе вино?!
Вы жребий бросьте, не тупите,
Пока решается судьба,
Стаканчик виски накатите,
Короче, с праздником! Ура!
Рыбы
Плывёте в бар, кафе, иль в рестораны,
Ваш взгляд горит от счастья и волненья,
8 Марта нет у Рыб изъянов,
Но выпить нужно вам для вдохновенья.
Остановите выбор на текиле
Лимон и соль с собою захватите,
И посидите где-нибудь на вилле,
И мужа вы в компанию зовите.
Пусть поревнует, и побьет соседа,
На дерево залезет он для вас,
Подарит Ладу, Жигули, Победу,
От Рыб не отведет сегодня глаз!
Для женщин всех придумали советы,
И поздравляют звезды и смеются,
В восторге пляшут гости и планеты,
И во Вселенной нынче все напьются!
А напоследок мы накатим квасу,
Пусть забурлит в желудке и в душе!
Закусим это дело ананасом,
Станцуем вальс иль танго в неглиже.
А можно и не пить сегодня дамам,
Ведь главное, внимание и забота!
И рады дочки, бабушки и мамы!
И хорошо, что нам не на работу.
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